In The New York Times article titled “Unhitched: 2 Divorce Lawyers Better After Their Own Divorce, but Still Together,” Brendan Hammer shared his unique personal experience with divorce and coparenting and discussed how every client’s path to happiness is different.
“Marriage has evolved, but we still have horse-and-buggy ideas about divorce… Divorces can look like marriages, and marriages can look like divorces,” Mr. Hammer said. “Focus on the human issues because the legal issues — income, property and child support — are formulaic.”
Mr. Hammer has taken his creative legal approach to resolving divorces and applied it mindfully to his own personal life. In the feature story, he explained how he and his ex-wife were able to put aside their differences and focus on the best interests of their son. Despite the divorce, they are purchasing a home together in the Chicago area and will take turns living there with their son, but not at the same time. Commonly referred to as “nesting,” this concept provides a stable and consistent environment for a child of divorce.
Mr. Hammer shared divorce advice he has learned through the process:
“Have compassion for each other and don’t say anything to the kids until you have a plan. There’s happy divorce and I’ll-never-see-you-again divorce. Regardless of the kind you have, watch for the messages and shame that you take on. We should be nicer about divorce, and more nuanced. Understand the range of options for divorce; it’s not one size fits all,” he said.
Read the full article here.